I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
