I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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