We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
