i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
