You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
