Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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