no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
