Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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