I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
