I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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