At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
