My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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