I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
