I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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