I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
