Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i think my mom watched the whole time
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
