I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
