Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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