i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
