Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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