Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
