You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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