He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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