Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
