I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
