he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
