Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
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I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
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Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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