Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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