Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
