she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Watching her eat just hurts me
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
