Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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