sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
