the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
