Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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