Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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