Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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