I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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