You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
