Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
