i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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