I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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