White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
