If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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