Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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