you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
