my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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