oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
