Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize