Betty ford says i'm here all night
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
