Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize