Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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