She's JV to your varsity
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
