dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
