So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
