Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
