I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
