She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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