***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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