brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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