Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
