Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
