i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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