hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
