So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
