Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
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so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
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I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.