Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!