they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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