one might say we're banned from that church
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
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