Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
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