I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Do vagina's smell?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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