she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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