We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
