Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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