Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
