Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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